At the age of forty, I had become what personal trainers call a ‘fat slob’. A lifetime of eating and drinking whatever I wanted had taken its toll. I always drove everywhere too, even to the shop around the corner, usually to buy more Cheetos. As a result, I was overweight, unfit, and depressed.
One day, I realised enough was enough and I finally decided to do something about it. I attempted to sign-up to ‘Weight Watchers’ online, but accidentally clicked the link for ‘Weight Witches’ instead. I shrugged my shoulders and signed up anyway. I guessed that it was probably all much the same. I was pretty dumb in those days.
Within ten minutes of signing up, I had a knock at the front door. I opened the door but there was no one there. However, when I looked down at the doorstep I saw that I had received a small box. I took the box indoors and opened it. Inside the box, was a selection of sachet packs with the ‘Weight Witches’ logo on them. Each sachet had something different written underneath the logo. One said, ‘Footballer’, another said ‘Salesman’, another said ‘Personal Trainer’, and so on. There was also a piece of paper with some instructions on it which read:
“Welcome, dear customer. At Weight Witches we believe in the magic of personal transformation. Losing weight is only the start of your journey to becoming the person you always wanted to be. In the box provided, you will find a selection of sachets, each containing a different powder potion. Choose carefully as you will only be able to use one sachet. Once you have chosen, simply open the sachet and sprinkle the powder over your next meal. Your transformation will then begin in no time at all!”
It all seemed a bit easy, but I shrugged my shoulders once again and had another look through the different packets in the box. When I found the one that said ‘Bodybuilder’, I stopped and held it in my hand. Yes, that’s who I had always wanted to be. Every time I had driven past the gym and seen those muscle-bound hunks emerging it had made me jealous, but I had never found the energy or motivation to do anything about it.
I had already worked up an appetite for some lunch, so I made myself a fine bacon and cheese sandwich, and then I opened the ‘Bodybuilder’ sachet and sprinkled the red-coloured powder over the filling. It made the sandwich taste pretty awful, but I hoped that it would be worth it. It was definitely worth it.
About ten minutes after finishing the sandwich, I started to get a strange feeling in my tummy, like little fireworks going off. I stood up in case I needed to run for the bathroom, and that is when the miracle started to happen...